In my early days as a young rabbi, I was invited to a meeting of a support group for Jewish adults facing what in those days was vaguely referred to as “fertility problems”. The experience for me was a profoundly moving one that changed my approach to many aspects of the rabbinate and of Jewish communal service. Even thirty years after that experience, I opened The Pater with great trepidation, only to find an enlightening and unique approach to the topic. Elliot Jager skillfully interweaves three narratives: his personal struggles with childlessness, interviews with individuals and couples who open up about their experiences with childlessness, and the story of his personal relationship with his somewhat estranged father, who is continually recommending faith-based approaches to infertility. Peppered throughout are references from Torah, Prophets, and Talmud, with their approaches to childlessness, which, unlike contemporary life, is usually resolved. The literary approach employed by the author works. The reader finishes the book with a greater understanding of the vast range of feelings experienced by those experiencing childlessness, and with insight into the author’s own journey.
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