The book you hold before you is no ordi­nary Hag­gadah. If you’ve ever suf­fered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exo­dus from Egypt itself. There are count­less sto­ries, dozens of bless­ings, and far too many hand­wash­ings while the meal turns cold. Now pre­pare to be enter­tained by anoth­er ver­sion of the book that’s respon­si­ble for this inter­minable tradition.

With this hilar­i­ous par­o­dy Hag­gadah from the comedic minds of Dave Bar­ry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mans­bach, good Jews every­where will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and bor­ing Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from get­ting rid of all the chametz in your home by set­ting it on fire with a kosher blow­torch to a retelling of the Passover sto­ry star­ring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burn­ing bush that sounds kind of like Mor­gan Free­man, set against the back­drop of the Promised Land―which turned out not to be a land of milk and hon­ey but rather one of rocks and ven­omous scor­pi­ons the size of York­shire ter­ri­ers. You then eat a cel­e­bra­to­ry brisket and wrap up the whole evening by tak­ing at least forty-five min­utes to say good-bye to everyone.

So gath­er all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suf­fer­ing) and set­tle in for a fun way to pass the time while wait­ing for Eli­jah to show up.