A Good Apol­o­gy: Four Steps to Make Things Right

  • From the Publisher
September 1, 2019

A Good Apol­o­gy is a thought­ful exam­i­na­tion of the mean­ing and the means of mak­ing amends. In this age of divi­sion and heat­ed oppo­si­tion, what we need are real solu­tions that help us recon­nect with one anoth­er. This is the com­mon­sense guide we’ve been look­ing for. So much hurt and mis­un­der­stand­ing between peo­ple remains unhealed. We lose trust and don’t know how to regain it. In rela­tion­ships of all sizes, the costs of unmade apolo­gies mul­ti­ply. Because of mas­sive cul­tur­al road­blocks and blindspots that result from how our brains are wired, most of us find it real­ly hard to apol­o­gize. Although the chal­lenges are prac­ti­cal­ly uni­ver­sal, so is the essen­tial human urge to recon­nect with some­one after a breach, to heal harm. A basic tenet of Judaism is the oblig­a­tion to repair the world, tikkun olam. The High Hol­i­days offer an annu­al rit­u­al­ized oppor­tu­ni­ty to apol­o­gize well. With com­pas­sion­ate sto­ries drawn from more than three decades of psy­chother­a­py prac­tice, I show how you can take the coura­geous and hum­ble steps needed.

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