We read little about friendships among women in our biblical texts. More often, women appear as adversaries or simply distant from one another: Sarah has her handmaiden, Hagar, banished from her home; Leah and Rachel compete for the attention of their husband, Jacob. And although Miriam leads other women in song and dance after the Israelites cross the Red Sea, her life essentially revolves around her brothers, Moses and Aaron. Friendship seems limited to men. The tie between David and Jonathan in the Book of Samuel, for instance, signifies utmost love and loyalty. In reality, however, there is an entire biblical book built around the friendship of two women — the Book of Ruth, read during the festival of Shavuot. Because its powerful protagonists, Naomi and Ruth, appear in the book as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, their bond is rarely discussed in terms of friendship. Yet these two women epitomize in every way imaginable the warmth, support, and commitment that devoted friends share with one another.
Both widows, Naomi and Ruth set out from the land of Moab to Judah, Naomi’s homeland. They are two women in ancient times relying only on each other as they make their way through dangerous terrain. Ruth, a Moabite and the younger of the two, has adopted Naomi’s way of life. “Your people shall be my people, and your God my God,” she tells the older woman. In turn, Naomi seeks the most suitable agricultural fields for Ruth to work in, guiding her as she begins her new life in Judah. Together, as confidantes, the women plot to win over Boaz, a well-to-do landowner whom they see as a fit husband for Ruth. Naomi never competes with Ruth for Boaz’s attention, even though she is closer than Ruth is to his age. Rather, she pursues a path she believes will bring Ruth the greatest happiness. And Ruth trusts Naomi completely, following her advice without a moment’s doubt. The story ends happily for both women, who maintain a lifelong attachment to one another even after Ruth marries Boaz and has a son.
Women’s friendships, whether in ancient literature or modern times, can be life-sustaining — even in the most challenging circumstances.
I thought about the friendship of Ruth and Naomi as I researched and wrote my new biography, Henrietta Szold: Hadassah and the Zionist Dream. Like the two biblical women, Szold and her friends relied on one another as they made their way in a difficult land — British Mandate Palestine of the 1920s and 1930s. Born in Baltimore in 1860 and the eldest of five living daughters, Szold founded Hadassah, the Women’s Zionist Organization of America, in 1912. After World War I, she began traveling back and forth between the United States and Palestine to supervise the organization’s projects in the Holy Land. She oversaw a medical unit that brought doctors, nurses, and equipment to impoverished Jewish communities; a nursing school to train professionals; and other health-related activities. With time, she took on education and social services positions in Israel’s pre-state government, eventually heading Youth Aliyah, which rescued thousands of children during the Holocaust. By the early 1930s, she had settled permanently in Palestine. She missed her younger sisters and always spoke of returning to America. But she never did. She remained in Palestine, sustained by the strength and companionship of close friends.
Two friends stand out: Alice Seligsberg and Jesse Sampter. Both women were younger than Szold, both came from highly assimilated Jewish families, and, like the biblical Ruth, both would make their older friend’s beliefs and practices their own — in this case, Szold’s Jewish and Zionist worldview. Szold met Seligsberg first, through family connections. So quickly and trustingly did their friendship blossom that after suffering from an unrequited love, Szold could reveal her deepest pain to Seligsberg. One of the first graduates of Barnard College, Seligsberg began her career as a social worker on New York’s Lower East Side. Influenced by Szold, she became deeply involved in Hadassah, serving as its national president for several years and later as an advisor to Junior Hadassah, the young women’s Zionist organization. When Szold took her first trip alone to Mandate Palestine, Seligsberg, who had made it there before her, met her at the port. Szold wrote home that upon seeing Alice, she knew immediately that her enterprise was “right and normal.” Just as they had done in the States, the two women could count on one another for emotional and intellectual support.
Jesse Sampter, a poet who was partially disabled by a childhood disease, became an ardent Zionist after trying on various religious and social identities. Sampter looked up to Szold, awed by her extensive Jewish knowledge and superb organizational skills. Szold admired Sampter’s creativity as a thinker and poet, believing she lacked such imagination herself. As it was with Ruth and Naomi, their high regard for each other never devolved into envy. Szold didn’t hesitate to tell Sampter of the sheer “terror” she felt upon assuming a prestigious new government position, knowing her friend would respond not with competitiveness but with honesty and understanding.
Sampter and Seligsberg died within two years of each other, devastating Szold. When Sampter died, Szold wrote, “[A] part of myself went down with her, that part of myself which was of the best.” And the loss of Seligsberg, she said, meant “parting with the purest, the truest, the most stimulating of friends — with a friend in the highest sense of the word.” Women’s friendships, whether in ancient literature or modern times, can be life-sustaining — even in the most challenging circumstances.
Francine Klagsbrun is the author of numerous books, most recently Henrietta Szold: Hadassah and the Zionist Dream, part of the Jewish Lives series published by Yale University Press. Her previous book, Lioness: Gold Meir and the Nation of Israel, was named the Everett Family Foundation Book of the Year for the 2017 National Jewish Book Awards. She was the editor of the best-selling book Free To Be…You and Me and wrote opinion columns for many years in both the Jewish Week and Moment magazine. Her writings have also appeared in such national publications as The New York Times, Boston Globe, Newsweek, and Ms.