In this hilar­i­ous and ulti­mate­ly mov­ing mem­oir, come­di­ans and real-life mar­ried cou­ple Annabelle Gur­witch and Jeff Kahn prove that in mar­riage, all you need is love — and a healthy dose of com­plain­ing, code­pen­dence, and pinot noir.

After thir­teen years of being mar­ried, Annabelle and Jeff have found ​“We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giv­ing up, they’ve held their rela­tion­ship togeth­er by ignor­ing con­ven­tion­al wis­dom and fos­ter­ing a lack of inti­ma­cy, by using par­ent­ing as a com­pet­i­tive sport, and by drop­ping out of cou­ples ther­a­py. The he-said/she-said chron­i­cle of their intense but lov­ing mar­riage includes an unsen­ti­men­tal account of the med­ical odyssey that their fam­i­ly embarked upon after their infant son was diag­nosed with VAC­TERL, a very rare series of birth defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unfor­giv­ing­ly raw, uproar­i­ous­ly fun­ny sto­ry is sure to strike both laugh­ter and ter­ror in the hearts of all cou­ples (not to men­tion every sin­gle man or woman who is con­tem­plat­ing the con­nu­bial state).

Serv­ing up equal parts sin­cer­i­ty and cyn­i­cism, You Say Toma­to, I Say Shut Up is a laugh-out-loud must-read for every­one who has come to real­ize that being ​“in love” can only get you so far.

Read Annabelle Gur­witch’s Posts for the Vis­it­ing Scribe