Do you aspire to be an elder­ly Jew­ish cur­mud­geon, but have no idea where to start? Or per­haps you’re already a senior mem­ber of the tribe, but want to step up your game. Either way, you’re in luck, because a new book can serve as your map for the alte kak­er lifestyle. Noah Rin­sky and Dick Carroll’s The Old Jew­ish Men’s Guide to Eat­ing, Sleep­ing, and Futz­ing Around lays out every­thing you need to know about being an old Jew­ish man — or OJM — from fash­ion and cui­sine to leisure and business.

Both a satire of and an homage to a Jew­ish Amer­i­can cul­tur­al niche, this guide explains how to schmooze with the best of them. With­in its smart­ly designed pages, you’ll find labeled illus­tra­tions of OJM arche­types, info­graph­ics on sand­wich­es, and soups ranked by impor­tance. You bet your tuchus there’s a deli didac­tic, as well as a handy dic­tio­nary with all the jar­gon you’ll need. This book also boasts con­tri­bu­tions from The Free Press reporter Suzi Weiss, lit­er­ary agent Harold Max, Vogue edi­tor Jessie Hey­man, and more. Sprin­kled through­out, too, are apoc­ryphal quotes from the likes of ​“quite pos­si­bly” Alan Greenspan on egg foo young, and Hil­lel the Elder on cream in coffee.

Rin­sky, a writer and bud­ding OJM him­self, is also the cre­ator of the pop­u­lar account @OldJewishMen on Insta­gram and Tik­Tok. The page fea­tures con­tent relat­ed to all the trap­pings of this lifestyle, like memes about colono­scopies and Lar­ry David. You’ll also find actu­al OJMs per­form­ing sketch­es that accen­tu­ate the char­ac­ter­is­tic chutz­pah of this group, includ­ing a fight over a Cost­co rotis­serie chicken.

Rinsky’s affec­tion and (ir)reverence for the OJM is appar­ent in every side­bar and graph­ic. This delight­ful guide dives deep into what it means to be a cer­tain type of old Jew­ish man, cat­a­loging hall­marks of Ashke­nazi Amer­i­can cul­ture along the way. And per­haps with­out even ful­ly mean­ing to, The Old Jew­ish Men’s Guide shows us what we have to look for­ward to, should we be priv­i­leged enough to grow old. The type of man Rin­sky por­trays embraces his elder­hood, unabashed­ly pulling his pants up to his nip­ples and kvetch­ing over noth­ing. Though not every­one is meant to evolve into an OJM, this idio­syn­crat­ic group lays out a lifestyle that ensures no mat­ter what we might face, we’ll always take it with a side of pickles.